... I don't know if I've forgiven the person who attacked her or not, yet. Vi is my best friend. To lose her like this twice, same conditions and all, is beyond the pale. I'm not as magnanimous as his highness.
...But beyond all. I do think they weren't in their right mind, when they attacked her. And I'd not be any better than Louis - the person who stole everything from me, long before this place, if I couldn't keep both of those truths in mind moving forward.
I have a feeling the person who did it, no matter who it is, might be a bit like me in the end. In that they'll punish themselves for it more than anyone else could.
It would take an especially cruel person I think, to do all that to her on purpose.
I liked her a lot too. She was the easiest person here to talk to. And she was very clever, and charming, and funny, and a lovely woman with an adventurous spirit. I had hoped very much we could be good friends.
I can understand why you love her so. It would be very difficult not to love her.
[ ogughgh. his turn for a pause between replies. ]
Yeah. ...yeah. Exactly.
She's not gone. It's what I have to remind myself of. I wasn't so lucky to know that, the first time. This place trivialises our worst pain, makes death into a farce. Forces good people to do horrible things, then wakes them up to it afterwards so they can live with the pain they made against their will.
But - the circumstances mean there's hope to cling to, too. It means she's alive, somewhere. So I'll cling to it. And I'll put all that fury into bringing her home.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ not today. not now. another day. ]
I recall I was reminded yesterday that this is a power beyond what any of us can fight. With the key word of yet.
no subject
There's another pause here. This time it's because she's putting her head between her knees for a few seconds.]
Are you saying this to me now because you think it applies to me?
no subject
no subject
I'm not forgetting what's behind all this either.
no subject
Vi is my best friend. To lose her like this twice, same conditions and all, is beyond the pale.
I'm not as magnanimous as his highness.
...But beyond all. I do think they weren't in their right mind, when they attacked her.
And I'd not be any better than Louis - the person who stole everything from me, long before this place, if I couldn't keep both of those truths in mind moving forward.
I have a feeling the person who did it, no matter who it is, might be a bit like me in the end.
In that they'll punish themselves for it more than anyone else could.
no subject
It would take an especially cruel person I think, to do all that to her on purpose.
I liked her a lot too. She was the easiest person here to talk to. And she was very clever, and charming, and funny, and a lovely woman with an adventurous spirit. I had hoped very much we could be good friends.
I can understand why you love her so. It would be very difficult not to love her.
no subject
Yeah.
...yeah. Exactly.
She's not gone. It's what I have to remind myself of.
I wasn't so lucky to know that, the first time.
This place trivialises our worst pain, makes death into a farce. Forces good people to do horrible things, then wakes them up to it afterwards so they can live with the pain they made against their will.
But - the circumstances mean there's hope to cling to, too. It means she's alive, somewhere.
So I'll cling to it.
And I'll put all that fury into bringing her home.
no subject
But by the time he gets the next message, any trace of it is gone.]
I will too.
Make certain to write to her straight away. We're fortunate to be able to do so this soon.
Please rest, Strohl. It's been a very long day, and a really awful one at that. You can continue the fight tomorrow.