Don't. It's all right. It would have been the same for anyone, right? It's been two weeks. It's so silly to think...it's foolish to think anyone would know each other well.
I didn't know him well. [There's a long heaving sigh, with it the threat of tears. She keeps them at bay with quick blinks and even breaths, though they may return at any moment.] That's the whole problem. I barely got time to know him at all.
And he never told me that he suffering like that. I didn't know until last night. How can I claim to be...it's silly that I'm in here still, making a fuss. I don't know these people.
[Luke. Dahut. Scien. Viktor, and now Eunhyuk. They tug at her heart with different hooks, near equal pulls in opposing directions, and yet they shouldn't have any sway on her at all.]
Really? [There's a sniff. How inelegant. She pats at her nose, but now tears fall anew, even if she's keeping her voice even and her eyes on him.] You don't think I'm being selfish?
[She quiets, still watching him tearfully as her thoughts sift and settle.]
Yes. I think so. [A lump rises in her throat and she only just batters it down.] Dying is a very lonely thing. Even when you're in a place you know. I just didn't want him...I didn't want them to feel alone when they left us.
Nobody should be. [She offers him a smile.] But sometimes, we don't get to choose our fates.
[He has such kind eyes. Very much the brooding type, he is, and so keen to keep a tight lip. She didn't imagine it would be him sitting next to her now, willingly or otherwise.
Her hand finds his and gives it a soft squeeze.]
Thank you, Arthur. For talking to me. And for staying.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[...]
But you did, I take it. I am - sorry you were forced into this.
no subject
Don't. It's all right. It would have been the same for anyone, right? It's been two weeks. It's so silly to think...it's foolish to think anyone would know each other well.
I barely got to talk to Viktor, even.
no subject
Would it have been the same for anyone? I... do not presume to know him as well as - you seemed to.
[he leaves it unsaid, but he wishes he could have taken this burden for her, given that.]
no subject
And he never told me that he suffering like that. I didn't know until last night. How can I claim to be...it's silly that I'm in here still, making a fuss. I don't know these people.
[Luke. Dahut. Scien. Viktor, and now Eunhyuk. They tug at her heart with different hooks, near equal pulls in opposing directions, and yet they shouldn't have any sway on her at all.]
no subject
Miss Du Prix, if I may - it is a strength to cry over people you may not know well, not a weakness.
no subject
no subject
I'm not certain how it could be selfish. Rather, I think... most people would hope someone would care, if they should pass away. Wouldn't you?
no subject
Yes. I think so. [A lump rises in her throat and she only just batters it down.] Dying is a very lonely thing. Even when you're in a place you know. I just didn't want him...I didn't want them to feel alone when they left us.
no subject
You were... remarkably strong. But you should not have been forced to be. I'm sorry, Miss Du Prix.
no subject
Nobody should be. [She offers him a smile.] But sometimes, we don't get to choose our fates.
[He has such kind eyes. Very much the brooding type, he is, and so keen to keep a tight lip. She didn't imagine it would be him sitting next to her now, willingly or otherwise.
Her hand finds his and gives it a soft squeeze.]
Thank you, Arthur. For talking to me. And for staying.
no subject
well, regardless.]
It's nothing.
no subject
[Whether he likes it or not, this is a true kindness he has paid her. Something she hopes to repay one day.
She only hopes there'll be enough time to do so.]